This skin care product was mentioned in one of Bellasugar’s “Lovely Links” a couple of weeks back. Oddly, the link wasn’t to a beauty blog, but to Epicurious.
The product - Max Brenner's Brazilian Brown Sugarcane and Cocoa Nibs Body Scrub.
For those of you unfamiliar with Max Brenner, it’s a Willy Wonka wannabe chocolate restaurant/retail chain that originated in Israel.
There are only two in NYC and epicuriously they are only 7 blocks away from each other.
I’m a chocoholic, so it was really difficult to be there, in the Max Brenner store, surrounded by the sound of vats of swirling chocolate, the panoramic sight of chocolate, and the smell of coco, so thick in the air, that just inhaling could cause diabetes.
A newspaper called AM New York had an article last week titled, “From No Job to Nose Job”. (Which I guess is better than from “Nose job to No Job”. Which I think would make a good name for a Jennifer Grey biopic.)
I think it’s really interesting that Cucina built an entire business out of making soaps and hand creams, specifically designed for kitchen use. Most companies would have branched out and started making eyebrow shampoo by now. But the fact that they can grow, without having to do that, is a testament to how good and addictive this stuff is.
Cucina Regenerating Hand Cream is made with cold pressed olive oil. It’s designed to deeply moisturize hands dried out from frequent washing. It also contains olive leaf extract, which stimulates the skin and helps heal minor cuts and burns.
(Minor cuts and burns? Sounds like me after making a bagel in the morning.)
Cucina hand cream absorbs really quickly and leaves no greasy residue, only super silky, soft skin behind.
Being the rebel that I am, I decided this stuff was too good to reserve for hand use only. Before I knew it, my hand application was working its way up my arm, then down my torso, to my feet. I knew I would soon end up in my kitchen, naked, doing dishes, covered in hand cream. So I decided to ignore the fact that “Cucina” was Italian for “kitchen” and made it my bathroom, body moisturizer.
It has a light scent that doesn’t last too long, but is very uplifting. All the scents smelled nice, but I went for the Sanguinelli Orange and Fennel.
This stuff isn’t cheap, but its packaging is lovely and classy and will make you feel like the only reason you’re standing over the sink doing dishes is because the maid called in sick (yet again).
I wish Cucina would start a new line called “bagno” (bathroom in Italian) specifically for bathroom use, so when people see Cucina in my bathroom, they don't picture me getting arrested for peeing in kitchens all over Italy.
I found this video on Telegraph.co.uk. It’s an interview with Jill, Duchess of Hamilton, who also happens to be an etiquette expert. (I think I’m going to put Duchess of Hamsterchire, on my resume. Would anyone really know?)
Here’s what the Duchess had to say (to be read in a really snooty accent):
After you put food in your mouth, put your utensils down on your plate while you chew. Does this apply to sitting on your couch with a bag of Smart Puffs? Should I return my hand back into the bag, once I’ve shoved the puffs in my mouth? If so, I already do that. Apparently, I really am Duchess material.
Her second morsel of advice: don’t put too much on your plate or in your mouth.
Today marks the commencement of New York Spa Week. It’s the one week, a year, when select New York spas offer select spa treatments for only $50. It’s a great deal if you have the money. (I, myself, will be celebrating by lying on some tennis balls and smearing things from my kitchen on my face.)
But if you’ve got some money to spare and are feeling adventurous, check out Shizuka New York Day Spa’s $50 Spa Week offering (a $180 value).
It’s called the “bird poop facial”. (Suddenly, my April Fool’s “cat food facial” doesn’t sound so gross.)
This facial has caused quite the media frenzy. It’s been featured on The Today Show, The View, CNN, CNBC, Fox News, etc. (Just think of how excited they would have gotten if it was a ”dog poop facial”.)
The “bird poop facial” is the brainchild of Manhattan skin care guru, Shizuka Bernstein.
She says Japanese Geishas used to use nightingale droppings, to not only remove makeup, but also to brighten, heal and smooth skin. (Apparently, a natural enzyme in the poop breaks down dead skin cells and a protein called guanine gives the skin a pearly luster.)
Don’t worry. It doesn’t involve lying on a massage table, waiting for a bunch of birds to poop on your face.
Yes, I know Frederic Fekkai products have been around for a while, but I never looked at them twice, because I assumed I couldn’t afford anything made by someone named Frederic Fekkai.
But as fate would have it, I got caught in a downpour the other day.
So recently Japan held a Hair Show. Down the runway came the latest cutting edge (bad pun intended) hair styles. I can tell you this, I’ve seen the future and it looks like we spend a lot of time doing break dance spins on our heads.
The styles in the Hair Show aren’t exactly the styles you’ll see gracing the escalators at the local mall. Actually, I think I've achieved some of these looks, in the morning, after my cat has slept on my head.
I just have one question. What’s wrong with subtle cuts that say “don’t I look pretty", instead of "don’t I look pretty deranged?”
“The Posh Bob”, “The Rachel”, “The Farrah Hot Dog Holder”, “The Mia Farrow I’m carrying Satan’s Baby”. These were all cuts that were not only appropriate for every day living but they actually complimented people’s faces.
Oddly enough, according to the Hair Show, bangs are still in in the future. You know the other models were jealous that they didn’t get the bangs. They were probably thinking “why do I have to sit for 3 hours of styling, only to end up looking like I’ve had my hair styled by rabid squirrels?”
The good news about seeing this video is, it made me stop worrying about the future of the economy, because in the future we’ll have bigger concerns,
like how we’re going to get through airport security with hair that looks like we’re smuggling a bazooka.
OK, I know this sounds extremely gross. But I’m on a really tight budget and have been trying to experiment with homemade facials, made with things that I find in my kitchen. Butter -good. Tomato -good. Nutella- rash. Honey- good. Peanut butter-bad. I seriously experimented with pretty much everything I could find in my kitchen cabinets. Everything that is except for, dare I say it, cat food. Until now.
Wait. Wait. Hear me out. It was the Seafood Medley flavor. Sure, the smell made me want to regurgitate like a mama bird, but seafood is loaded with omega 3-6-9, which is amazing for the skin.
So I plugged my nose and slathered it on. My cat looked extremely confused and kept going over to her bowl and meowing. I think she was saying,” the food goes in here, dumb ass”. If you think the smell of wet cat food is bad when it’s in a bowl on the floor, imagine how bad it is when it’s literally right under your nose.
But I promised myself I’d go 10 minutes before rinsing it off. David Blaine, if you want to try something that really pushes the limits of human endurance, forget hanging upside down, try sitting in your living room with cat food on your face for 10 minutes.
Anyway, I made it 8 minutes, not a second more, then ran to the kitchen to rinse it off. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised with the results. My skin had a really nice glow and was super soft and smooth. Although, it took at least two very thorough rounds of facial cleanser to get the smell completely off, but other than that, I have to say my skin looked pretty damn nice.
Happy April Fools Day everyone! I was just kidding. Just because I’d rub butter and salt on my nose and blow dry my hair with Saran Wrap over my face, doesn’t mean I’d use cat food as a facial. Dry cat food as an exfoliant maybe, but wet cat food as a facial never.
Please tell me you didn't really think I was that crazy. Sorry, if reading this made anyone's stomach queasy.