My lips are so chapped lately, that I could grate Parmesan cheese with them. So I ventured to my local CVS, looking for a cure.
I immediately gravitated towards the Bad News Bears of the lip balm section- Lypsyl Honey Berry Lip Balm.
First off, the name “Lypsyl” sounded like the result of a speech impediment.
Secondly, there was a red flag on the package exclaiming “NEW”, right next to the year it was established, “1905”.
And they had trademarked the word “Lypmoisturizer”™. Cute. But only someone who was illiterate would steal the word “lypmoisturizer” from them.
Also, this lip balm was 30% off, so I felt kind of bad for it.
Seeing as it had optimist, bright-yellow packaging, I couldn’t help but take this poor, 3-legged puppy home.
Lypsyl has a little, yellow, bee-shaped slider on the side to extract and retract the balm. Which is not only cute, but also makes it easy to use one-handed.
Also, the container is uniquely, oval-shaped, so there’s no chance of me sitting in a dark movie theater, accidentally applying mascara to my chapped lips.
It’s made with Swedish Beeswax, coconut oil, organic Shea Butter and vitamins A and E. All lovely for the lips.
But the remarkable thing about this “lypmoisturizer”™ is, it does not budge. I applied it before a sweaty yoga class and after it felt like I’d just applied it.
I then applied it at bedtime. I woke up to find that it hadn’t evaporated or dissipated into my lips in the slightest. It was just loyally sitting there, protecting my lips. I feel like I'd discovered the Lassie of lip balms.
If I ever get a Collie, I’m going to name it Lypsyl.
I’ve been loyal to products before, but I’ve never experienced a product that was so freakishly loyal to me. Guess that’s what happens when you bring home the 3-legged dog of lip balms.
And at $2.99 it makes a great stocking stuffer.