It’s award show season, and I can’t help but be jealous. Not of the success, money or talent of the Hollywood elite. No, I’m the weirdo who covets their teeth. Damn, they’re white.
I think the whitest paint chip on the planet should be named Tom Cruise’s bicuspid white. (Benjamin Moore if you’d like to hire me to come up with paint color names, I’m available.)
This scares me because teeth are hard and tough and unfeeling, so when a product makes my teeth feel like they’re on fire, I get a little nervous. (It’s like seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger cry. It just seems wrong.)
So I thought I’d give Rembrandt strips a try, which are actually more like a sports mouth guard than a strip.
The good news is they don’t slip around like the Crest strips can. The bad news is they adhere so tightly to teeth, that you feel like you might remove your teeth, along with the strip.
Day one I did notice an ever so slight whitening of my teeth, but the problem was it was uneven. The next time I tried to mold the plastic around each tooth better. That seemed to help with the unevenness, but the whitening wasn’t really happening.
It said it might take 5 days before seeing real results, so I kept going. Day 5 - still not much whitening. They actually give you 7 days worth of strips. Just in case you want your teeth to be even whiter.
(I bought whitening strips. Isn’t that kind of a given?) Day 7 was a little better, but I have to say the results were just OK. Personally, I think Crest Whitening Strips are so much better. So, from now on, I’ll just suck it up and deal with the pain.
You know what they say, “no pain, no gain”. I just didn't realize it also applied to teeth.