babyassface

NY Spa Week's discounted "bird poop facial"

Today marks the commencement of New York Spa Week. It’s the one week, a year, when select New York spas offer select spa treatments for only $50. It’s a great deal if you have the money. (I, myself, will be celebrating by lying on some tennis balls and smearing things from my kitchen on my face.)

But if you’ve got some money to spare and are feeling adventurous, check out Shizuka New York Day Spa’s $50 Spa Week offering (a $180 value).

It’s called the “bird poop facial”.  (Suddenly, my April Fool’s “cat food facial” doesn’t sound so gross.)

This facial has caused quite the media frenzy. It’s been featured on The Today Show, The View, CNN, CNBC, Fox News, etc. (Just think of how excited they would have gotten if it was a ”dog poop facial”.)

The “bird poop facial” is the brainchild of Manhattan skin care guru, Shizuka Bernstein.

She says Japanese Geishas used to use nightingale droppings, to not only remove makeup, but also to brighten, heal and smooth skin. (Apparently, a natural enzyme in the poop breaks down dead skin cells and a protein called guanine gives the skin a pearly luster.)

Don’t worry. It doesn’t involve lying on a massage table, waiting for a bunch of birds to poop on your face. 

The excrement is actually collected from nightingale farms, where the birds are feed only organic food (as if that somehow makes it better). The excrement is then sterilized, using UV rays and turned into a powder.

The facial also involves a cleansing of the skin with Shizuka’s own all-natural product line and a facial massage with Japanese camellia blossom oil, a relative of the green tea plant.

Shizuka says she chose to offer the 50-Minute Geisha Facial as a Spa Week special because she wanted more people to be able to try this one-of-a-kind facial. 

"First and foremost, the Geisha Facial is quality skin care”, she states, “but it also represents a way for us to relax and pamper ourselves and, especially now, we could all use more of that."

Yes, nothing makes me feel more special than having bird crap smeared on my face.

A cat food facial- is it really all that?

OK, I know this sounds extremely gross. But I’m on a really tight budget and have been trying to experiment with homemade facials, made with things that I find in my kitchen. Butter -good. Tomato -good. Nutella- rash. Honey- good. Peanut butter-bad. I seriously experimented with pretty much everything I could find in my kitchen cabinets. Everything that is except for, dare I say it, cat food. Until now.

Wait. Wait. Hear me out. It was the Seafood Medley flavor. Sure, the smell made me want to regurgitate like a mama bird, but seafood is loaded with omega 3-6-9, which is amazing for the skin.

So I plugged my nose and slathered it on. My cat looked extremely confused and kept going over to her bowl and meowing. I think she was saying,” the food goes in here, dumb ass”.  If you think the smell of wet cat food is bad when it’s in a bowl on the floor, imagine how bad it is when it’s literally right under your nose.

But I promised myself I’d go 10 minutes before rinsing it off. David Blaine, if you want to try something that really pushes the limits of human endurance, forget hanging upside down, try sitting in your living room with cat food on your face for 10 minutes.

Anyway, I made it 8 minutes, not a second more, then ran to the kitchen to rinse it off. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised with the results. My skin had a really nice glow and was super soft and smooth. Although, it took at least two very thorough rounds of facial cleanser to get the smell completely off, but other than that, I have to say my skin looked pretty damn nice. 

Happy April Fools Day everyone! I was just kidding. Just because I’d rub butter and salt on my nose and blow dry my hair with Saran Wrap over my face, doesn’t mean I’d use cat food as a facial. Dry cat food as an exfoliant maybe, but wet cat food as a facial never. 

Please tell me you didn't really think I was that crazy.  Sorry, if reading this made anyone's stomach queasy.  

Saran Wrap- a Japanese skincare secret?

I just received a book called “The Japanese Skincare Revolution- How to Have the Most Beautiful Skin of Your Life- At Any Age”, by Chizu Saeki. 

Saeki is “a practicing esthetician and Japan’s most revered beauty advisor” and this book is the distillation of her most essential techniques. 

There are lots of cool things in it, like face massage techniques, quick fix spa secrets, as well as methods to diagnose your skincare needs.

I love this random tidbit. Hold a mirror above your head and look up. This is what your face looked like 5 years ago. Hold the mirror below your face and look down. This is what you’re going to look like 5 years from now. (Ahhh! Please God, no.)

Thankfully, I’m short, so I often look up at others, so they get my 5 years ago face. (So take that tall, leggy people.)

The following was my favorite tip. It involves using Saran Wrap to create a facial sauna.

 

Why is this photo on a stock photo website????

I improvised on her method a bit. Here’s my version. I applied face cream. Put a piece of Saran Wrap over my face. Poked holes where my mouth and nose were. (I didn’t poke holes where my eyes were, because I was afraid I would poke my eyes out and I could see through the plastic anyway.) 

I wore the mask while blow drying my hair, to maximize the sauna effect. 

15 minutes later, I peeled the plastic off. 

It took a few minutes for the excess moisture to evaporate, but once it did, I had a little, post-sauna, healthy, detoxed, dewy complexion going on.

I swear I looked a few years younger (and it wasn't just a hallucination, from having just cooked my face in Saran Wrap).

The youthful look lasted all day. The guy at the pizza place even called me “Miss”, which never happens any more. 

I could be wearing pigtails and skipping down the street, sucking a lollipop and people would still call me "ma'am", so this was a big deal for me. 

So from now on, I'm blow drying my hair with Saran Wrap over my face. (Never thought I would utter those words.) Now I’m wondering if I can do a full body sauna with dry cleaning bags. (Joke. I know they’re not a toy.)  

Don't forget to check out the book.

Putting this sheet over my face made my face look much better.

The Origins Make a Difference Skin Rejuvenating Sheet Mask is not only frighteningly good, it’s also just plain frightening. When I unfolded it out of the packaging, I immediately thought of Jason from Friday the 13th. And when I put it on my face, I kept scaring the crap out of myself every time I walked past a reflective surface. 

Whatever you do, don’t go outside at night to trim the bushes with a machete, while wearing this mask, or the police will come a knockin. 

These 100% organic cotton sheet masks are drenched in lots of moisturizer. (One of the ingredients is the Rose of Jericho -a "resurrection" plant that can survive and thrive after decades of drought.)

After I removed this super cooling, refreshing mask from my face, a coating of moisturizer remained on my skin. I massaged it in a bit and let the rest soak in gradually. Once it absorbed in, my skin felt amazing- velvety soft, smooth, refreshed, super-duper hydrated, and the fine lines were gone. Plus, unlike most masks that I’ve tried, this one left my skin feeling amazing for 48 hrs. 

This winter my face has been exposed to freezing temperatures, low humidity, excessively drying indoor heating systems- conditions usually reserved for torture testing car batteries. This mask helped rectify all that. Not since that flume ride in jr. high has my skin feel this hydrated.    

This mask isn't cheap. It’s $36 for 6 masks, but if you have dry, dehydrated, weathered or “mature” skin, this mask is worth every penny.

I also tried the Origins Make a Difference Skin moisturizing cream and didn’t think it moisturized very well, so the mask and the moisturizer aren’t interchangeable by any means.   

Anyone else ever try these masks?

My Fair JuiceLady

I bought the JuiceLady juicer a couple of years back. But my desire to be healthy was quickly quelled by my desire not to do dishes.

Cleaning the thing is a biatch. Fruit and vegetable pulp coat every internal part. It looks like that wood chipper scene from Fargo, except with fruits and vegetables.

Thankfully, my new apartment has a dishwasher. (Not since the 1950s has a woman been so excited to see a kitchen appliance.)  Now that I can put my juicer parts in the dishwasher, I can be both healthy and lazy, simultaneously. A long time goal of mine.

For the last few days I’ve been making a 2 carrots, 1 apple, piece of ginger juice every morning for breakfast. I’m sorry, but no store bought juice can compare to the taste of fresh juice- so delicious.  It’s like my body can tell the difference, when I ingest something so fresh and healthy. I actually get a burst of energy and feel clean and light, mentally and physically.

So I guess what I’m babbling about is, if you happen to have a dishwasher, you might want to look into getting a juicer. You can probably get a used one off of Craigslist or Ebay cheap, because God knows I can’t be the only person to lazy to use it.

Sharp turn ahead. 

So, when I was emptying out the pulp bucket. I saw all that fresh, moist pulp. (Carrots are great for elasticity, apples brighten and ginger improves circulation.)  So I decided to scoop my hand in there, ball up some carrot, apple, ginger pulp and wipe it on my face, like a cotton ball. It was amazing.  It firmed up my skin like a mini facelift. At first there was a slight orange tinge to my face.

Like I’d received self tanning tips from Lindsay Lohan. 

But thankfully, the orange color rinsed off with water.

I’m pretty sure no matter what fruits or vegetables you decide to juice, you’ll end up with a pretty amazing fresh facial treatment. 

It's a juicer.  It's a facial machine. Looking and feeling great, has never been so easy (for people with a dishwasher).

Do you have any good juicer (aka facial) recipes for me?

why I spread my morning cereal on my face

I recently found out I have high cholesterol, so I’ve started eating oatmeal every morning, to try to bring my levels down. I’m not a huge fan of oatmeal, but I am a huge fan of Brie cheese. (I figure the more oatmeal I eat, the more Brie I can eat.) Although I’m not sure those in the medical profession would agree with this logic.)

As I sat there one morning, looking into bowl of oatmeal, which greatly resembled paper mache glue, my first thought was, this stuff would probably be good to block the drafts emanating from my windows.  My second thought was oh, yeah, oatmeal is great for the skin, maybe I should smear it on my face.

Oatmeal helps to relieve dryness, restore your skin’s moisture balance, soothe, absorbs and removes surface dirt and impurities. Hence, it’s beneficial if you put it on your face, or in your face.  It’s versatile like that.

So I emptied a pack of Trader Joe’s Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal into a bowl, added boiling water and covered my face with it. 

(Speaking of homemade facial masks, there are actually recipes online for homemade kitty litter clay masks. I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’m afraid my cats will associate my face with the litter box and pee on my head, while I’m sleeping.)

Since the oatmeal was hot, it opened up the pores, helping the mask to work on a deeper level.

I waited 20 minutes, and then rinsed, and rinsed.  Turns out, a washcloth is necessary because it leaves a glue-like film on your face.

But when I finally got it off, my skin felt great.  Super smooth, soft, clean and refreshed.  I didn’t find it all that moisturizing though.  Since my skin is dry, I did need to follow it up with some moisturizer, but overall, it was a good little facial mask.

I’m just glad I wasn’t eating scrambled eggs, when I decided to smear my breakfast on my face.  

a facial peel that'll burn fine lines right off your face

I don’t know about you, but 90% of the facial masks I try don’t impress me. So when I find a mask that actually does make a noticeable difference, I get all happy inside. (It’s kind of like a non-alcoholic version of a martini.)

Ren Glycolactic Skin Renewal Peel Mask is one of those products. 

I’ve never particularly been drawn to the Ren brand. “Ren” means “clean” in Swedish. 

Unfortunately, it’s also the name of Dracula’s sycophant, bug-eating assistant, and that’s who I think of when I hear the name. 

Ren says that their products contain no synthetic fragrances, no petrochemicals, no sulfate detergents, no synthetic colors, no animal ingredients, and no parabens, but believe me they’re getting some crap around the web for acting all pure and holy, when they have ingredients that aren’t exactly darlings of the “natural” skincare product world.

I don’t mind that it’s not all natural, God knows I use plenty of “un-natural” skin care products. I just don’t like that they’re acting "so salt of the earth". Tirade over. 

This peel mask is made with natural fruit acids and papaya enzymes. They describe it as a “gentle but potent exfoliating peel, that renews the complexion, reduces fine lines and dramatically improve skin tone, firmness and radiance”. I concur with all those claims.

They also state it’s “especially recommended for dull, mature, and congested skin prone to blemishes and blackheads”. (OMG, are they sure they’re haven’t named the brand after Dracula’s Ren?)

The saleswoman at Sephora said not to leave it on for more than the recommended 10 minutes, because acid peels can damage the skin on a cellular level, if left on too long. 

I’m glad she told me that, because I usually leave it on longer, thinking it'll burn its way down to newly formed, infant-like skin. (I know it’s in there somewhere.)

Ren gives, 2.5 percent of their profits to the environment, which is nice, but at $55, it’s not cheap.

That said, I’ve never used a peel that so impressively burned the fine lines right off my face.  Therefore, I highly recommend getting a free sample at Sephora. If you like the results, it might be worth the splurge. 

 Ren answers, "yes, master" to your request for younger-looking skin. (Hey Ren, feel free to use that line in your brochures;)

Anyone have any favorite peels to recommend?

random tip: how to analyze your skin

I was at Saks, trying to score a free sample of a SKII product. Turns out they were out of every sample, of all their products.  Really?

What the SKII saleswoman, did offer up was a free facial analysis.  Supposedly, they have some kind of camera, that can photograph beneath the skin’s surface, helping you to figure out what products would best benefit your skin.

What she was describing sounded a bit like MRI technology.  Call me skeptical, but I find it hard to believe that they have a MRI-like piece of equipment sitting behind the SKII counter.

I turned down the offer, because I knew that once I had the procedure, (MRIs are expensive) I would have felt obligated to buy something.

But I’ve recently found a free imaging system, with which we can all analyze our skin’s needs. 

It’s called our eyeballs.  The procedure is very simple. 

Apply a facial mask.  Wait 5 minutes. Look in the mirror.  Wherever the mask has soaked in, re-apply more mask.  For me, under my cheekbones and my eyelids, are my “desperately-in-need-of-attention” areas.

Or, as I like to refer to them, my Heidi and Spencer areas. 

Then wait another 5 minutes.  Check your face again.  At which point, my eyelids have usually completely soaked up the second round of mask.  (They’re so dehydrated, you’d think they’d recently been transplanted from a desert nomad’s face.)

I know they say to avoid the eye area with masks, but I think being so obedient to the side of jars, helped bring me to this dehydrated-eyelid place to begin with. 

With this face mask method, my entire face gets every ounce of nourishment and care it needs.  No MRI necessary.

Do you have any other facial mask tips you'd like to share?

why you want to wear seaweed on your face

Japanese women have such beautiful skin, and I have way too much time on my hands, so I decided to Google ancient, Japanese skin care secrets.

Well, apparently one of Japan’s biggest skin care secrets is Wakame, a form of seaweed, commonly used in Miso soup.   (Can it really be considered a secret, if Googling it brings up over 200,000 search results?)

Wakame is rich in nutrients, which help to detoxify, nourish, hydrate and tone skin.  You can buy dehydrated Wakame in most health food stores.  (I think you can also buy it at Whole Foods.) 

My first few attempts at a Wakame face mask recipe, left me looking like a victim of a hundred year old, off-shore shipwreck, but once I got the recipe right… wow. 

Seriously, I’ve tried so many facial masks over the years and this is one of the best (and one of the cheapest).

Here’s the recipe: Chop up dehydrated Wakame in a food processor.

Mix 2 tbsp ground Wakame  + 1 tbsp of honey + 1 tsp of aloe vera gel.  (This should be enough for around 4 masks.)

When you’re ready to use the mask, scoop one tbsp of the mixture into a small bowl. 

Add enough water to cover the mixture (but just barely).  Wait 5 minutes for the Wakame to re-hydrate. Drain any excess liquid. Then stand over a sink (it’s a bit messy) and pat the concoction onto your face.

If you look like this, you've applied too much.

It helps to tilt your head back for a few seconds, while applying it, to let it set.  You know you’ve applied the right amount, when it looks like you've been standing too close to someone who was using a weed wacker.

It will adhere well enough to your face to walk around slowly, but I wouldn’t suggest doing Jazzercise with it on or anythin.  Wait 20 minutes.   Wipe it off with a paper towel. Rinse.

It left my skin sooo soft, smooth and radiant, which is a good thing because I would have been pissed if I'd covered my face in seaweed for no reason. 

OK, I think this is probably the oddest food item I've ever made a mask out of.  What's your?

the pilgrims would have loved this pumpkin peel

It’s Thanksgiving week and everyone’s thoughts are turning to pumpkin facial peels.  OK, maybe not everyone’s. 

Thanksgiving began back in 1621, as a harvest festival and a day to give thanks.  For the Pilgrims had much to celebrate, not only had they made it to the New World alive (except for the ones who didn’t), but they were actually prospering nicely.

Here are some Native Americans being forced to sit at what appears to be the first incarnation of the kids’ table. 

All these years later, the Thanksgiving holiday remains a staple of North American life.  The only difference being, now we don’t give thanks for a fruitful harvest, but instead for giant sponges in square pants. 

Think how proud the Pilgrims would be if they could see how far we've come.

But this Thanksgiving I’m kicking it Pilgrim-style and celebrating the successful harvest of the pumpkins in MyChelle Dermaceuticals Incredible Pumpkin Peel.

A combo of organic pumpkin puree with pineapple and ginger. This peel offers unique exfoliation and super nourishment, via all-natural ingredients.  It’s jam packed with vitamins and fruit enzymes, which digest dead cells, revealing more youthful, healthier-looking skin.  (Hopefully, there won’t be so many dead cells to digest that the enzymes have to undo their zippers.)

After using this peel my skin was clearer, smoother, soft, and radiant, even the spots from the sun were less noticeable. And the amazing part is, I could still see and feel the benefits of this mask days later.   I LOVE THIS PEEL.  It's twice a week for me from now on. 

MyChelle has a trial size section on the website, so you can sample stuff.  (FYI: I also love the Fruit Fiesta Peel and I heard the C serum is amazing as well.)

This is the founder of MyChelle.  She’s 46.  (My skin didn't look this good when I was 10).  Makes me want to buy one of everything.  (PS. It's not Botox.  I’ll tell you how I know that in tomorrow's post.)

MyChelle is sold at Whole Foods, but if you want to see where else you can get it, feel free to use the "search the web" box to the right.