babyassface

You can only take one skincare product to a desert island. Is this it?

I really want to like Balm Balm Rose Germanium Face Balm. It’s 100% natural, 100% organic and has great ingredients like shea butter, calendula, bees wax and jojoba oil. (It’s for all skin types and not as greasy as it sounds). I love the name Balm Balm (probably because it sounds like bon bons) and I admire the fact that this little balm is so ambitious.

Here’s how it can be used: on the face, lips, cuticles, hands, feet, elbows, and even on disheveled eyebrows. It’s like the skincare version of Leonardo da Vinci (who was a philosopher, inventor, architect, engineer, mathematician and painter).

I threw Balm Balm in my purse to see just how useful it would be throughout the day. I was about to go into an interview and noticed my eyelids were looking like eyelid jerky (wrinkly and dehydrated), the Balm Balm made them immediately look better. It helped my cuticles look less like I’d been trying to tunnel out of prison, using only my fingernails. It helped my chapped lips (but only for an hour). And by the end of the day, when my eyebrows started looking like fuzzy caterpillars, that were trying to crawl off my face, the Balm Balm helped them fall back in line. (Apparently, I decompose quickly throughout the day.) So, yes, I guess it was a helpful, little skincare item to have in my bag.

But while it does do a lot, it doesn’t do anything really well. Turns out rather than being the da Vinci of skincare products, it’s more like the Hugh Jackman (actor, singer, dancer, bad Oscar host) of skincare products.

Thank you Barbara for not forcing Mickey Rourke to do this to you as well. 

So if you’re traveling and want to pack light, or if you always like to be prepared, or if you’re going to be on Survivor and can only bring one item, this might be just the product for you.

I love the idea of a uni-product that does it all. Does anyone have one they think works really well?  

Can ThinGloss lip gloss make you thinner?

ThinGloss claims to be an appetite-suppressing, lip-plumping, skin-softening, mood-enhancing lip gloss. (Never before, has a lip gloss made me question why I’m not doing more with my life.)

So is it all that and more? (OK, maybe not more, because it already does a lot.)

Loved the pink color. It definitely softened my lips big time (vitamin E). It’s not sticky. Loved the aromatherapy peppermint/vanilla scent. Not sure it actually enhanced my mood, but it definitely had a happy scent.

It also contains cinnamon, which helps increase blood flow. It plumped my lips,

but not so much that I was talking like the character from Fat Albert, who ba talksba likeba this.

ThinGloss also contains Hoodia and Kola Nut (which are said to possess appetite suppressing qualities). Here’s how it works: sniff the lip gloss wand, three times in each nostril, 30 minutes before eating. Three times a day.

I sniffed the gloss three times at 5:45 PM, when I was getting hungry for dinner. I did feel like my hunger held off for around an hour. I tried it another time and the same thing happened. I felt like my hunger waned for around an hour. (It could have just been my imagination, but even if it was, it worked.)

Seems like for 24-hour appetite suppression, I’d have to walk around with the wand stuck up my nose.  Although, maybe, if I’d followed the directions and sniffed it three times a day, the effects would have lasted longer. 

In conclusion, I would like ThinGloss even if it were a regular lip gloss, just for the color and how soft it made my lips. But seeing as it does pretty much everything, except blow dry my hair for me, I highly recommend checking it out. 

It's amazing that they found one photo to convey it all. Glossy, plump-ish lips. She's happy from the mood-enhancing aromatherapy and her mouth is wide open, but she isn’t eating the lip gloss. because her appetite has been suppressed.

make your own lip plumper

No, I’m not going to tell you to turn on your vacuum and adhere it to your lips to encourage blood flow to the area. (Although, come to think of it, that might not be a bad idea, as long as the on/off button remains within reach:)

This tip is actually a lot less likely to turn into an embarrassing emergency room visit.
It merely involves something you probably already have in your cupboard- cinnamon.

Here’s how it works: put a little Vaseline in a small bowl, sprinkle some cinnamon in and mix it up with your finger. Next, apply the concoction to your lips. 

Besides improving circulation, cinnamon also adds a lovely reddish-brown tint to your lips. I leave the mixture on my lips for as long as possible, until it actually starts to sting a bit. Then I take a tissue and wipe off the grit of the cinnamon powder and apply a little more plain Vaseline.

It’s not going to plump your lips so much that it looks like… well, you stuck a vacuum to them, but it definitely adds a bit of plumping action. 

Another nice side effect was it also increased the circulation above my top lip. I’ve been noticing little lines forming there lately, and this plumped them right out. I mean it’s not like my upper lip looked like I was wearing a mouth guard or anything, just enough to help with the lines.

And if you’re feeling really brave, you can try a tip I read about on BellaSugar- add a little cayenne pepper to your lip gloss to really get the blood rushing to your lips. Personally, I’m too much of a wuss to try that one. 

Unfortunately, I don’t think going to Cinnabon and eating 10 cinnamon rolls will work, unfortunately.  (Yes, I meant to use the word "unfortunately" twice.)

This photo is making me so damn hungry that I’d eat my own hand if I had any icing in the house.

What’s your favorite lip plumper?  

lips like sugar

Last winter (before I found my beloved Lypsyl Lypmoisturizer) my lips were so chapped, I swear I could have filed my nails with them.

The situation seemed hopeless. (This is the Lifetime movie edition.) Every lip balm I tried seemed to get sucked into my lips the second I applied it. You’d have thought I had lips the girth of Angelina’s, to have so much endless depth for the stuff to sink into. Ironically, the more lip balm I applied, the more quickly it absorbed.

It got to the point where I was applying lip balm in a continuous, non-stop circle, 24 hrs a day. Thus dedicating my right hand solely to its application. 

Then I found the wonderful, fabulous Fresh Sugar Lip Gloss and not a minute to soon. (That was my right hand typing that).

I usually don’t like lip gloss, because I find most of them sticky. 

 

Like by the end of the day, I expect to be an Entomologist’s wet dream, with an entire collection of insects stuck to my lips. 

Not so with Fresh Sugar Lip Gloss. It glides on, moisturizes your lips and then seals in the moisture.

It contains sugar (a natural humectant and emollient, that helps to draw in and retain moisture), Shea Butter, Jojoba, Grape Seed, Black Currant Seed Oils (to nourish and protect the skin) and Vitamin E (an antioxidant that protects and softens).

It’s also supposedly infused with pearls. I don’t see pearls listed in the ingredients. I do see Mica however.  Perhaps they meant to say Mica- pearls of the land? Pearls (or Mica) help to reflect light, making lips look plumper. 

This gloss goes on sheer, but still has enough color to look sassy.

I have to say a tube of this stuff lasts a really long time.  I apply it several times a day and it took me more than 6 months to go through a tube.

Fresh Sugar Lip Gloss  comes in 13 different colors, for those who like to match their lip gloss to their outfits.

 

It's kind of like the Garanimals of lip glosses.

Pictures of bugs, lip gloss and Garanimals, all in one post.  Where is my medication?

a lip balm that’s freakishly protective of your lips

My lips are so chapped lately, that I could grate Parmesan cheese with them. So I ventured to my local CVS, looking for a cure. 

I immediately gravitated towards the Bad News Bears of the lip balm section- Lypsyl Honey Berry Lip Balm.

First off, the name “Lypsyl” sounded like the result of a speech impediment.

Secondly, there was a red flag on the package exclaiming “NEW”, right next to the year it was established, “1905”. 

And they had trademarked the word “Lypmoisturizer”™. Cute. But only someone who was illiterate would steal the word “lypmoisturizer” from them. 

Also, this lip balm was 30% off, so I felt kind of bad for it.

Seeing as it had optimist, bright-yellow packaging, I couldn’t help but take this poor, 3-legged puppy home. 

Lypsyl has a little, yellow, bee-shaped slider on the side to extract and retract the balm. Which is not only cute, but also makes it easy to use one-handed.

Also, the container is uniquely, oval-shaped, so there’s no chance of me sitting in a dark movie theater, accidentally applying mascara to my chapped lips. 

It’s made with Swedish Beeswax, coconut oil, organic Shea Butter and vitamins A and E. All lovely for the lips.

But the remarkable thing about this “lypmoisturizer”™ is, it does not budge. I applied it before a sweaty yoga class and after it felt like I’d just applied it.

I then applied it at bedtime. I woke up to find that it hadn’t evaporated or dissipated into my lips in the slightest.  It was just loyally sitting there, protecting my lips. I feel like I'd discovered the Lassie of lip balms.

If I ever get a Collie, I’m going to name it Lypsyl. 

It took around 2 days, but it completely healed my chapped lips. And, unlike some lip balms, which require hourly application, I only have to apply this one a few times a day to maintain my now soft, smooth lips. 

I’ve been loyal to products before, but I’ve never experienced a product that was so freakishly loyal to me. Guess that’s what happens when you bring home the 3-legged dog of lip balms. 

And at $2.99 it makes a great stocking stuffer.

 
And to cement their title of  “underdogs of the lip balm section”, they made sure to put the wrong website URL on their packaging, which just makes me love them that much more. 

I’ve found my cure for chapped lips. What’s your’s?

Feel free to use the "search the web" box to the right to find out where you can get it.

random tip: a backwoods lip plumper

So I was reading about a "beauty secret" that's supposed to not only help get rid of chapped lips, but also add color and plump lips as well.  No, it's not some new miracle product that's debuting at Sephora.  

In fact, it's pretty much the complete opposite of that.   Cue the Banjo music.

The "beauty secret" is to brush your lips with Vaseline.  I, of course, had to try it.  I recommend using a soft toothbrush, because I used a firm one and almost ripped my lips off my face.  

But yes, it did get the blood circulating to my lips, thus added some plumpness.  It also got rid of my chapped lips (I don't mean that in a "removed them from my face" kind of way). At first, it actually made the chapping worse.  I think it brought all the dead, dry skin to the surface at once. But by day two, the chapping was gone and my lips were super smooth.

I suggest doing this maybe in the morning and at night,  but not in the bathroom at work.  People will just think you're trying to brush your teeth, and you're really uncoordinated. 

I think the photographer told her to act like she was brushing her teeth.  Lucky for me she can't act and it looks like she's brushing her lips.  

My favorite product for chapped lips is Korres Guava Lip Butter.  What's yours?

For butteresque lips

My lips get so dry overnight that I sometimes expect to wake up and find them cracked off somewhere under the pillows with my ponytail holder.

It’s like if Mr. Sandman and the Tooth Fairy had a back-woods, inbred 2nd cousin, who came in the middle of the night, but instead of putting sand in your eyes (bastard) or giving you money, she tried to leave your lips under the pillow.  

Thankfully, I’ve found the perfect remedy to ward off the banjo-playing, over-all-wearing lip fairy.

Korres Guava Lip Butter. They use natural, homeopathic (not that there’s anything wrong with that), non-synthetic ingredients, like soothing shea butter and rice wax. And when I wake up in the morning, my lips are not only still on my face but they also feel super hydrated, soft and smooth- kind of like those wax lips from the 70s. 

 
Why did they say they were edible? Is wax edible?  Did I miss that day of science class?
And thanks for the bicycle helmet.  Oh, wait.  That's right.  You didn't give us bicycle helmets. 

I suppose you can use the lip butter during the day too, but I like using it at night so much that it’s now developed into a pre-sleep, OCD ritual.  

The Guava Lip Butter is actually clear, not tinted, but I couldn’t find a photo of the elusive, Guava flavor anywhere. Which is odd because I could find over 400,000 photos of Bigfoot.

I've gotten some emails asking where people can find the products I talk about in my posts. Feel free to use Google “search the web” box, to the right, to find out where you can find it (and for how much).