babyassface

random tip: how to keep your neck looking young

I just read a tip online that freaked me out. Only because I do the complete opposite of said tip, pretty much all day and chances are you do too. (Don’t you like how I drag you down with me?)

Anyway, I’m starting to get deep wrinkles/creases in my neck. 

These neck creases are a dead give away to one's age. They’re kind of like the human version of tree rings, except we wear them right there, on the outside of our necks, for everyone to count.

But thankfully there's something we can do to prevent the creases and maybe even mitigate the ones we already have. 

No, I’m not talking about the Maude neck scarf.

If you’re like me, you spend close to 8 hours a day staring at your computer screen and there’s a good chance your head is angled downward, the whole time, as you do so. Guess what? That angled-down chin is forming creases in your neck. 

What we want to do is bring our computer screens up to eye level. As I sit here on my couch, typing this, I now have three throw pillows piled under my laptop. This has brought my computer screen closer to eye level and put my once frivolous throw pillows to good use.  

If you work in an office, you can try putting books under your computer monitor to raise it to eye level.  Or you can try lowering your chair. (Never mind. That one will probably just make you look like you have a Mini Me.)

Hopefully, you’re piling books under your computer monitor right now. While you're at it, you may want to put one on top of your head, just to double-check that your chin is level:)

Do you have any, "damn, I wish I knew that tip years ago" anti-aging tips to share?

random tip: thicker eyelashes?

So I was reading about how applying castor oil or Vaseline to eyelashes right before bedtime can help make them thicker.  

So I tried coating my tiny, thin, light lashes with castor oil 3 days a week, for 2 weeks. 

It was really hard to coat the individual lashes with a Q-tip, so I took one of those disposable mascara wands they have at the make-up stations at Sephora.

First, taking paper toilet seat covers from public bathrooms. Now this. Hopefully, I'm not turning into another Winona Ryder.

Here she is at her trial. I bet she tried that headband on at the store and "accidentally" walked out with it on.

I applied the castor oil to my right lashes only, to see if I noticed a difference between the two sides. 

I sure did.  The Castor oil eyelashes felt so much softer and healthier.  The other side felt like something Stuart Little would use to make a broom out of.

I also noticed a big difference when curling my eyelashes.  The castor oil side took the curl and held it much better.  So when I applied my mascara to the curled lashes, they did appear slightly more voluminous. 

This experiment didn’t last very long.  I found the castor oil seeping into my eyes overnight.  For fear of losing my sight, in order to have longer lashes, which I wouldn’t be able to see anyway, I decided to ixnay the castor oil.  Maybe I’ll try switching to Vaseline since it’s thicker, and maybe won’t seep in as much.

You know you've over done it with the lashes, when you start looking like Andy Rooney.

Has anyone else ever tried putting castor oil or Vaseline on their eyelashes to thicken them?  If so did it work?  A lot of people online seem to swear by it. 

random tip: if you must increase your bust

OK, this trick is from Eve Pearl - Emmy Award winning makeup artist, and author of the book, "Plastic Surgery Without the Surgery".  Is it just me, or does this book title make no sense?  Can you call it plastic surgery if there is no surgery involved?  Did I miss that day of English class?

Anyway, via the magic of makeup, Eve greatly increased the size of this woman's bust.

To take the effect to the next level, I think the woman should hunch forward to make it look like her boobs weigh so much, that she can't even stand upright.  Maybe Eve was saving that tip for her next book.

random tip: how's your breath?

If you're like me, you believed that old Tic Tac commercial, where the woman breathed into her hand and then sniffed it, to see what her breath smelled like.  Turns out the only thing this does is let people know you're checking your breath.

Or there's always the trick of breathing into your pets' faces, to see if they run whimpering from the room.  But, considering they like sniffing each other's butts, that's probably not the best gauge either.

So how do you know how your breath smells?

Lick the inside of your wrist. Let it dry for a second, then sniff.  That's what your breath really smells like.  Just don't let your date see you do it, if you ever want to see him again.

Apparently, no one told Clark Gable the breathing into his dog's face test doesn't work.